Everyone Needs to Change Except Me

May 24, 2012 by

By Dan Crain

ATLANTA — I find it much easier to talk about someone else’s brokenness than my own. Perhaps this is why it is so tempting to watch shows like Moury Povich or TMZ. We like to observe the ugliness of others.

Why? It helps us escape ourselves, our own ugliness.

When we avoid self-examination and focus on the faults of others, it helps fill that emptiness inside our souls that was meant to be filled only with the love and affection of God, and His insistence that we are His beloved.

In other words, everyone needs to change except me.

I recently had a conversation with a friend about someone else who is not living a very healthy lifestyle. We decided that this person should make changes and confront some issues. Then I asked: “What did Jesus need to change in us?”

Does our friend need to change? Yes.

Do I need to change? Yes.

Pointing out the brokenness in others ignores this fact.

I see this manifest itself even in our two children, who are 4 and 2.

As my wife and I prepare for the addition of twins, we have tried putting Landon and Karis to sleep in the same bedroom. One night Landon told us that Karis enticed him want to play with his toys, as she disobediently decided to get out of bed and play.

The next night, when I told them it was time for bed, I said, “This means no playing around.” To this, Landon responded that Karis was the “trouble maker.”

This is one small example of why I find Jesus’ teachings so compelling. He cuts to the point and calls all of  us sinners, or, in my son’s word, “trouble makers.”

Look at the story of the woman caught in adultery. Her accusers brought this woman before Jesus to point out her sin, her brokenness.

What does Jesus do? He throws her accusers’ own brokenness right back at them: “If any one of you is without sin, let him be the first to throw a stone at her.” (John 8:7)

So how should we respond to the shortcomings of others, to their brokenness?

We should extend the same love, grace, forgiveness, kindness, mercy and faithfulness that God gives to us. We are broken people for whom God has forgiven much.

When we realize this, we can look at ourselves in a mirror and ask: Who really needs to change?

Dan Crain and his family.

Dan Crain and his family.

Dan Crain is a liaison/trainer in South Atlanta for Polis Institute. He can be reached at dan@polisinstitute.org.

Consider signing up for Dignity Serves, a six-week course that helps you rethink the way we serve others in our community. It teaches you to see problems differently and respond in a way that empowers those you serve rather than just meeting their immediate needs.

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Homeless Living in Woods Aren’t Invisible to God’s Eyes

May 10, 2012 by

By Nancy Blue

My heart for people living without permanent shelter was always instinctual. God’s timing, and my introduction through volunteering, has nurtured my compassion and commitment and taken me from city streets to the woods.

My initial exposure was through IDignity, which helps to provide IDs and other documentation critical to help the poor. Homeless men and women – and particularly those just out of jail – can be overwhelmed trying to negotiate the complicated system, and to afford documents such drivers licenses, birth certificates and Social Security cards, which many of us take for granted.

Once I realized the importance of basic identification for a person to function in society, I also began to volunteer at Compassion Corner, a Christian drop-in center in downtown Orlando. It is often described as a “listening ministry.”

Nancy Blue and a friend who lives in the woods.

Nancy Blue and a friend who lives in the woods.

If IDignity had opened my eyes, Compassion Corner opened my heart.

I became acquainted with individuals on the street. I heard their stories and learned their names, and my heart stirred with desire to know more about them. I wanted to serve these vulnerable men and women more.

Two years with IDignity and Compassion Corner had planted seeds in my heart. I felt he Holy Spirit tugging to begin a ministry to the homeless. You could say God even provided a MapQuest destination: I was guided to minister to people living in the woods west of Orlando.

I gathered together pastors and deputy sheriffs, learning as much as I could about where and how these men and women live.

Some live in tents or under tarps. Many sleep on the ground. Water moccasins and spiders are abundant. Like those without shelter elsewhere, some camp residents are tormented by addictions, mental-health problems and other issues.

Although the homeless are very visible on the streets of downtown Orlando, these people are generally out of sight, under cover of the woods.

After several months, I took steps to meet them in person and learn about their needs.

The overriding principle in my mind was to answer the questions they were asking, not provide what I assumed they needed. (This is a central tenet of Dignity Serves, and I’d gone through training from the Polis Institute.) I knew in my heart that this was to be a ministry based on personal relations. I was not to be just a person to provide them with “stuff.” I wanted to hear their stories and to let them know that someone cares about them. I wanted to earn their trust.

I offer several brief accounts – not to boast that I am a special person or need credit for entering into these situations – but only that I have followed the guidance of the Holy Spirit. (I have changed the names of the people, although the stories are true.)

ONLY LOVE CAN WIN MARY

Mary was beaten regularly as a child, but her mother faithfully attended church. As a Christian, I have no argument for her. Only love can win this one, acts of kindness that heal Mary’s perceptions of God.

She has lived most of her life on the streets or in the woods. An adult son stays with her.

Mary is very intelligent and loves to read. She has a library at her campsite of more than 1,000 books. She delights in sharing them with me.

Once Mary got an ID, she obtained her first library card. Her quality of life is greatly enhanced.

Mary and I have formed a great relationship. If the day comes when she wants to discuss “eternal subjects,” I will be there.

TEARS FROM TOUGH GUY BOB

Bob has an amazing story, and we had many conversations. Then one day this tattooed, bearded, rough guy mentioned his daughter. After some gentle prompting from me, he shared that he had left his wife 22 years before – and when they parted, he had left behind a 2-year-old daughter. How he wept. What an opening into his heart!

It was not easy to find his wife and daughter. I played detective, and found them on Facebook. Bob and his daughter spoke by phone. Within two months, his daughter and wife came from Missouri to get reacquainted. I was privileged to be there at the reunion – a great blessing. Today, Bob, his wife and his daughter regularly keep in touch. (And he still cries.)

A WHOLE NEW WORLD FOR JOHNNY

Johnny was a deaf-mute who lived in the woods. He sold scrap metal and dove in dumpsters to survive. I offered to help him get documentation and food stamps. Little did I know that the process would consume countless weeks, with many frustrations. If it were difficult for me to deal with the system, imagine how impossible it would be for Johnny to navigate the maze.

The first step was getting an ID and food stamps for Johnny. Then he could receive SSI Disability, and move to a small duplex. I became his payee (a person designated by Social Security to manage money for one who is not able to).

As Johnny settled in, we dared to think all was well. Then he began complaining of leg pain. I drove him to the doctor. His leg was white, and his arteries had collapsed. I immediately took him to ORMC, where doctors amputated Johnny’s leg. Suddenly it was a whole new world for both of us. Had gangrene set in, he would have died. Johnny’s story is far from over.

■ ■ ■

My interactions with some begin with a need: providing extra food, helping with applications for food stamps, or providing blankets, tents and mosquito spray. There are many people, though, I have helped by not trying to fix what’s wrong, but by recognizing their importance as God’s people – we are equal in His eyes despite our circumstances in life.

I believe God is glorified when we listen and enter into relationships with those who are scorned or often forgotten.

I could never have anticipated all of the difficulties or the amazing blessings that have accompanied my call to serve men and women in the woods.

Nancy Blue can be reached at fiddler10@msn.com. When she isn’t working with homeless men and women in the woods, Nancy Blue and her husband, Randy, are musicians (www.stringsandthingsorlando.com).

Consider signing up for Dignity Serves, a six-week course that helps you rethink the way we serve others in our community. It teaches you to see problems differently and respond in a way that empowers those you serve rather than just meeting their immediate needs. 

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Our Past Does Not Dictate Our Future in Christ

April 23, 2012 by


By Bill Behr

We all have developed beliefs about ourselves. Those beliefs have been shaped by our experiences, the happy and sad events in our lives, what we have heard others say (whether true or false) and what we have learned.

We ultimately decide which beliefs to adopt as part of our identity (whether good or bad), and they do affect how we relate to others (good and bad).

Many of my beliefs are healthy, true and part of my identity, such as, “I am made in the image of God my Father” and “God loves me dearly.”  But like all of us, I have also grown up with false beliefs about myself, many of them starting in my childhood.

These false beliefs also became part of my identity.

One of the false beliefs (lies) I discovered about myself originated when I was about 7 years old.  I was a bright-redhaired, highly freckle-faced, pale-white kid.  I stood out among other kids, but did not realize how much until the first grade, when some of my classmates started teasing me daily about how I looked.

I slowly became convinced I was not acceptable, and I was to embarrass to talk to anyone about it.   I tried to fix this lie by becoming a people-pleaser to validate my worth. I eventually shed this false belief with the help of family, friends and counseling. Most important, I came to realize my true identity is in Christ.  I understand now how Christ views me and His purpose for my life (for the lives of all of us).

I have learned a lot about my identity in Christ through reGROUP at Summit Church.

reGROUP is a Christian program that has been designed for anyone with hurts, habits and hang-ups (those cover the bases of all of us).   reGROUP teaches that I need to surrender, and to trust and believe in Jesus Christ, and then join Him in healing the hurt and restoring the loss in my life.

I need to surrender to the fact that I need the help of God and my Christian community to do this.

But I have to want this change.  Do I really want to experience a life of freedom and break away from my false beliefs?   Yes I really do!   So how do I do this?  I need to:

  • Sincerely want to surrender burdens and change (repent).
  • Honestly trust in the amazing unconditional love of Jesus’ life, death and resurrection to change me.

When I do these things, God starts to call me to enter into a community of people that is willing to care about me, so I can share my struggles with them.  In community, we equally give (share) and receive (listen), and we agree as a community to surrender our lives and depend on God for our restoration.

I am part of a team from Summit Church that leads reGROUP in the 33rd Street Jail on Tuesday nights.  We have listened to the inmates’ personal struggles and also shared with them our own struggles.   We are building a level of trust and forming new relationships, in community, to learn together about the truth of Christ’s love for each of us.

This is where Dignified Interdependence begins, with a small community of you, God, and me as we lean in care for one another. This is where forgiveness, kindness, patience, accountability, God’s grace, repentant joy and sacrificial love all begin occur and our needs are met (Phil. 4:19).

When we all “surrender me” (ourselves) to God, He accepts us where we are and starts healing us.  We start to experience sincere change and become a new creation – the “old me” diminishes and the new (real) “me in Christ” is discovered

(2 Cor. 5:17)!

Praise you Lord for revealing the truth to us all!

Bill Behr

Bill Behr

Bill Behr is the Associate Campus Minister of Summit @ 33rd St. and can be reached at bbehr@summitconnect.org.

Consider signing up for Dignity Serves, a six-week course that helps you rethink the way we serve others in our community. It teaches you to see problems differently and respond in a way that empowers those you serve rather than just meeting their immediate needs. 

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Who Doesn’t Like Barbecue?

April 20, 2012 by

By Rebecca Lujan Loveless

Scott and Sammi, residents of The Palms Trailer Park on Orange Blossom Trail, care about their neighborhood.  When asked what they think would make The Palms a better place to live, they said, “A place where friends and family can gather to barbecue, socialize and have kids play safely.”

They believe that having this community space will bring people together to get to know one another, which will lead to more trust between neighbors and even diminish petty theft and fighting.

“When you know your neighbor and they know you’ve got their back, they’re less likely to pick a fight with you over stupid stuff,” Scott said.

And, after all, who doesn’t like barbecue?

There is a grassy area at the front of the neighborhood between the Trailer One Community Center and Palms Chapel that is not used or fenced in. The area borders one of the busiest streets in Orlando.  Kids wait for the bus in the morning, playing on the sidewalk while 18-wheelers race by.  The space has dead shrubbery and is riddled with ant piles and weeds.

Scott sees this area not as the “eyesore” that it currently is, but as a blank canvas that, if treated properly (with the help of neighbors and other donors), could turn into a place where friendships are grown and ideas and dreams are shared.

Scott is a Master Welder and landscaping expert. He spent time and energy creating a blueprint for a professional BBQ Pit, Smoker and Griddle.  He also plotted out the landscaping plans, soil grading and re-fencing that he says will be necessary to create a space that is peaceful, safely protected from the busy street and able to hold a vegetable and herb garden.

The project can be accomplished for less than $1,000.  Scott and Sammi have already been going door to door, to neighbors, with hand-drawn fliers showcasing the plans, asking people to pitch in.  Scott has also called several companies to ask for donations of cement block, sand, equipment etc.  He is committed to seeing this idea come to fruition.

And he could use your help! Please donate to POLIS and indicate “Project: BBQ” and your tax-deductible donation will directly support this effort. You can also give of your time and talent, or provide some of the necessary materials. Just contact us at info@polisinstitute.org and let us know. Help Scott and Sammi make their community a better place.

Oh, and come by and join us for a barbecue soon!

Consider signing up for Dignity Serves, a six-lesson course that helps you rethink the way we serve others in our community. It teaches you to see problems differently and respond in a way that empowers those you serve rather than just meeting their immediate needs.

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The Power of Community: How Daniel Returned Home

April 13, 2012 by

Daniel and his children reunite in Ohio.

By Dan Crain 

ATLANTA – When Daniel left home six years ago, addiction guided his path, and he might as well have walked off the face of the Earth.

His parents’ parting words to him: “Don’t ever come back here.”

He left everything behind: his home, his job and, most important, his kids.  His destination was addiction, bouncing between prison and the streets.

About a year ago, Daniel left prison for a third and final time.

Daniel’s testimony last week riveted each of us: He was going home.

Soon after getting out of prison, Daniel visited Church on the Street’s ministry, Retreat from the Street. Its members strive  to live in community with Atlanta’s most vulnerable men and women — those who live  on the streets — and welcome them into fellowship.

Daniel began to show up for a simple breakfast, Bible study, prayer and lunch on weekdays. After awhile he decided it was time to get serious. Daniel gave his life to Christ.

This was just the beginning of his journey. Church on the Street continually held its arms open, welcoming Daniel into community.

He felt God’s Spirit say to him, “If you stay apart of this community, there are some wonderful things I want you to receive from them.” Daniel did not want to stand in the way of God’s blessing by thinking he was OK. He was not OK. He knew he needed help. Once he admitted this, blessings came.

In the Church on the Street community, everyone plays a role — everyone is asked to contribute. One of the first opportunities Daniel was offered was to clean the bathroom to serve the community. Albert Schweitzer is quoted as saying, “I don’t know what your destiny will be, but one thing I know — the only ones among you who will be really happy are those that have sought and found how to serve.”  God has given everyone a gift to serve community – even if it is as small as cleaning toilets.

Daniel remarked that he immediately felt the love of the Church on the Street leaders. They were not interested in just giving him food and clothes and sending him on his way. They took time to get involved in his life. To have such love extended unconditionally, instead of with  judgment, was absolutely crucial to Daniel’s journey.

He shared that one of his struggles is a predisposition to look down on people on the streets. Despite being an addict, he had taken solace in the fact that he was not as bad as someone who has a stronger addiction to crack cocaine. Truth is, we all find ways to judge others in order to escape the reality of our own pain, regardless of where we find ourselves.

Since he has been a part of this community, he has felt his impulse to be judgmental disappear. His conversation and spirit are also different. Just simply by being apart of this community, he has experienced change. This place and its people have become his family.

After a few months of spending time with this community, he was offered an opportunity to get off the street. What sets  Church on the Street apart from many houses of worship is its dedication to actively and intentionally  embrace the homeless, welcoming them into community. This is particularly true for Daniel. Elders in the church invited Daniel into their homes, and they have benefited greatly from his friendship.

Daniel commented at one point that, “This place is the best thing that has ever happened to me.” Through being a part of community, he has sensed God’s Spirit say to him, “You are my son, with whom I am well pleased.” After 20  years of struggling with addiction, he is at last beginning to experience healing.

And in community, his gift of cooking was discovered. He was named the chief chef of the Church on the Street’s kitchen. (Oh, and Daniel already had his culinary degree.)

He is now on his way home to a small town in Ohio. Through God’s grace, he now has custody of his three youngest children. These kids are special because they never gave up on their daddy even though he had given up on himself.

He also has a solid support system through a church in the hometown.  Interestingly, the small town in Ohio has a huge methamphetamine problem. Daniel’s church has reached out to him to know how to best reach out to people who struggle with addictions to meth.

These are the kinds of ministries that Polis is trying to encourage people to emulate. A ministry that is purely focused on giving and receiving with the most vulnerable in the context of community. It is in this context that people’s talents are engaged for the betterment of the city.

The myth of pulling yourself up by your bootstraps is just that, a myth.

What is the best way to experience change in our lives? It is in the realm of community. No one is self-sufficient. We all need each other.

What I love about this story is that Daniel spoke of personal responsibility. He spoke of realizing his need to change. But, he spoke of it all within the context of community. No one changes alone.

Crain family

Crain family

Dan Crain is a liaison/trainer in South Atlanta for Polis Institute. He can be reached at dan@polisinstitute.org.

Consider signing up for Dignity Serves, a six-week course that helps you rethink the way we serve others in our community. It teaches you to see problems differently and respond in a way that empowers those you serve rather than just meeting their immediate needs.

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Recipe for Friendship: A Simple Meal

March 12, 2012 by

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By Dan Crain

ATLANTA – What happens when you share a meal with someone?

You are equals. Each person brings something to the table.

There’s a danger associated with soup kitchens and “drive-by” ministries that feed the homeless. They can divide us.

I observed something interesting with a friend one day at Retreat from the Street, a ministry of Church on the Street, a non-profit in Atlanta devoted to being with and for our most vulnerable neighbors who are homeless.

Our typical schedule is to gather at 9:30 for Bible study and prayer, then to break for lunch around 11:30. Lunch is catered, and always very delicious. After the study, I waited in line with everyone else, grabbed a meal and sat down.

As I ate, a friend named Tycone approached. He said he was glad that I was sharing a meal, but his tone hinted at surprise. I asked, “Why?”

Tycone’s reply: Most volunteers who serve the poor and homeless do just that: They serve. Volunteers usually offer something to someone. Although they do this with pure motives, in the name of Jesus, such “serving” can often create barriers of trust. What people need is not another handout. What they desire is that someone sit with them and speak their names.

People on the streets have a deep desire to be treated with dignity.  They appreciate it when we treat them as we would family or friends, spending time with them, taking an interest in their lives. They crave what you and I do: For us to care about them as individuals, to open our hearts to them – to show them love.

When I ate at Retreat from the Street, did it mean that I was lowering myself to the position of someone on the street? Absolutely not. I was trying to communicate that I value Tycone as a person, and what he has to say.

I once asked a friend living on the streets what would be the best way to help someone in his position.  He pondered my question about a week before he answered.

He said it was time. It wasn’t food. It wasn’t clothes. It wasn’t even a job.

Nothing is as important as time in a committed relationship. Many people on the streets are there because of failed relationships. I would argue that many of us are where we are in life because of failed relationships.

About a month ago, I ran into some friends at the Wendy’s in our neighborhood. They live on the streets and immediately asked me for money to eat.

When someone asks for food, I always try to suggest that we eat together. I tell them that I will buy if they will give me some of their time.

As I stepped up to the counter to order, it hit me why this felt so good:

This is precisely is what Jesus did. He shared meals with people – tax collectors, prostitutes, and outsiders and sinners. No one else wanted to hang out with them. He did. By no means do I compare myself with Jesus, but maybe in that moment, through God’s grace, I was demonstrating to the most vulnerable people in Atlanta that God loved them.

Sharing a meal with people levels the playing field. There are no helpers or people being helped. This is hugely significant: When we “break bread,” one with another, we partake of the same food. More important, we share a bit of ourselves, a bit of our lives, in friendship and in love.

When panhandlers who say they’re hungry approach you, create some space. Take these neighbors to dinner, grab a bite to eat and get to know them.

When you learn their stories, you won’t think of them as homeless people. You’ll consider them as neighbors. Welcome them into your life.

It’s your life that will be greatly changed.

Dan Crain and his family.

Dan Crain is a liaison/trainer in South Atlanta for Polis Institute. He can be reached at dan@polisinstitute.org.

Consider signing up for Dignity Serves, a six-week course that helps you rethink the way we serve others in our community. It teaches you to see problems differently and respond in a way that empowers those you serve rather than just meeting their immediate needs.

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Communications Skills: Are You a Good Listener?

March 8, 2012 by
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By Michael Joe Murphy

“The most terrible poverty is loneliness, and the feeling of being unloved.”

That quote from Mother Teresa haunts me.

Yes, I appreciate solitude occasionally. But I fear loneliness. I desperately want to be loved. And there’s not a day that I’m not conscious about living in a lonely world, a lonely city.

Does anyone else sense a poverty of communication? Is anyone listening? Are you?

Sometimes that poverty hits me, but for no good reason: I’m blessed with family and friends who listen – really listen – to me.

Then there’s the poverty of isolation or exclusion because of gender, race, economic dislocation, living on the streets or, in the case of my friends at The Palms on South Orange Blossom Trail in Orlando, because they live in a trailer court.

The key to people feeling loved is a perception that someone really listens to them — sometimes beneath their words spoken in anxiety or anger.  Do we do a good job listening? It’s tough.

There are a gazillion websites about “how to be a good listener.” My version resides on a battered index card, circa 1975, from the superintendent of my school district in Ohio, Ed Hamsher. He spoke at a Bible study, and what he shared was practical for someone about to go to college. On the now-frayed card, he wrote:

COMMUNICATIONS SKILLS

1. Listen underneath the words.
2. Consider and reflect back what you understand to help clarify. Do not make a judgment.
3. Lead the other person to discover his or her own solution by considering the option available.
4. Permit that person to be responsible for his or her own actions.

It wasn’t many months until the wisdom borne on the index card became invaluable, in situations large and small, significant and seemingly without meaning, but all deeply important.

Knock-knock came a rapping at my dorm room door. “Murph, I slept with a girl. We didn’t use a condom. She’s Catholic, like me. What if she’s pregnant? What do we do?”

I had spilled a few beers with the guy at dorm floor parties. We had talked about the Bible, and I’d bought a copy of the Living Bible (Catholic edition) for him. But, it’s not as if I had the answer to his question. So I listened as closely as I could, and I haltingly spit back what he’d just shared:

“So, you didn’t use protection? Do you know her? What do you think you’d do? What do you think she’d want to do?”

Listen underneath the words. Check. Reflect back on what was shared. Help clarify. Check. Don’t be judgmental. Check. Let the person be responsible. Check.

There was quite a bit of listening and sharing over the next several weeks, and finally sighs of relief. There were lessons learned. That index card proved invaluable.

When I’ve been at the Community Center at the Palms on Saturdays, I’ve listened, or tried to listen, to unspoken concerns, moods, aspirations, hopes, fears.

Outside the Community Center, I’ve heard hurtful and vicious words hurled in anger by men and women on SOBT.

Inside the Community Center, I’ve listened to the prideful determination of people stepping up as leaders.  They brim with confidence and hope, wanting to make the Palms a better place to live.

I’ve listened to a soft-spoken young woman boast that she’s been working in a bistro, full time with benefits, since last April. (We both griped about Orlando’s lousy bus service.)

I’ve listened to an older woman, rapid fire, share that she’s bipolar and “intimidated.”

“No one listens,” she declared. I sat in rapt attention.

Did she know I was listening – or trying hard to listen? Did she feel as if she were important? That I understood her fears and shared her indignation about a laundry list of injustices?

Mother Teresa amplified her line about loneliness and poverty.

“We think sometimes that poverty is only being hungry, naked and homeless. The poverty of being unwanted, unloved and uncared for is the greatest poverty. We must start in our own homes to remedy this kind of poverty.”

It doesn’t matter if you’re among the poorest of the poor in Calcutta, or in a trailer park on South Orange Blossom Trail. It doesn’t matter whether you’re in a dorm room at Kent State University, my alma mater, or in Harvard Yard.

Wherever you are in life, listen. Without condemnation. Without judgment.

I’ll be praying for you, and the person to whom you’re listening.

May you both feel unconditional love.

Michael Joe Murphy, a volunteer for the Polis Institute, can be reached at Murpheus57@gmail.com.

Consider signing up for Dignity Serves, a six-week course that helps you rethink the way we serve others in our community. It teaches you to see problems differently and respond in a way that empowers those you serve rather than just meeting their immediate needs.

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Summit Super Bowl Party@ 33rd Street Jail

February 25, 2012 by

By Bill Behr

Every Sunday night, the team from Summit’s 33rd Street campus has the privilege of spending time in Orange County Jail with the male inmates from the Horizon 4D dorm.

We lead  these men in worship and song, and their lively singing and praise would lift anyone’s heart!  Every Tuesday night, we also lead them through Summit’s reGROUP curriculum, which helps them discover how God can restore their hurts, habits and hang-ups.  Together, these services have given us the opportunity to personally get to know many of the inmates and encourage them to follow Christ.

I am very proud of our team that serves the men in 33rd.  We made sure each volunteer was able to make a one-year commitment to serve the inmates and go through Dignity Serves training to better understand how God wants us to build dignified, interdependent relationships with those that we are serving.

We were very blessed a few weeks ago, when Good News Jail Ministries (the ministry we partner with that serves them men in Horizon 4D) and the Orange County Jail agreed to let us move the worship service to the early afternoon instead of 7 p.m., so that our worship service would not interfere with the Super Bowl game that night.

What was more amazing is that they agreed to let some of our team come back to the dorm that night to minister to the men and watch the first half of the Super Bowl game with them.   We were really getting to know some of these men, so we were very excited to be able to go back and hang out with them.

Just a week earlier, Rene Vazquez, our campus minister for the 33rd Street campus, spoke to us at Horizon 4D about how Christ taught us to humbly serve each other out of love, by giving and receiving. That lesson was remembered.  When we came back that night, we were greeted by a group of men who were becoming our friends.  They told us that they were honored that we left our family and friends to be with them that night, so they wanted to serve us.  They arranged special seating for us to watch the game and used what little money they had to buy some snack food from their commissary for us.

Kyle Cox, Marco Randazzo and Scott Pausal, who all lead Summit’s worship band at 33rd Street, remembered Rene’s teaching and realized that, by accepting the snack food from them instead of refusing it, they were honoring our friends. By accepting their gifts, they validated the dignity in them that God has given us all.  You should have seen the joy in the faces of our friends as we sat together and shared genuine fellowship!

The men at the jail were following Paul’s teaching in Philippians 2:3-5, which says, “Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit.  Rather, in humility, value others above yourselves, not looking to your own interests, but each of you to the interests of others.  In your relationships with one another, have the same mindset as Christ Jesus.”

We are thankful to God for helping us recognize the great dignity we each have. We continue to pray that God will encourage us to keep reaching out, taking time, and sharing genuine fellowship with our neighbors – including those we might otherwise look down upon

Bill Behr

Bill Behr is the Associate Campus Minister of Summit @ 33rd St. and can be reached at bbehr@summitconnect.org.

Consider signing up for Dignity Serves, a six-week course that helps you rethink the way we serve others in our community. It teaches you to see problems differently and respond in a way that empowers those you serve rather than just meeting their immediate needs. 

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Neighborhood Leading with LaDeitra: Determination and Patience

February 18, 2012 by

LaDeitra and Rebecca

By Rebecca Lujan Loveless

The Community Center at The Palms Trailer Park bustled with life on a recent cool Saturday morning. This was unusual because up until that week, the trailer that housed the Community Center was open only Monday through Friday. This Saturday, the residents came in and out, using the computers, sitting to chat with neighbors over cups of coffee, and I felt a deep sense of gratitude for the spirit of “togetherness” in this overlooked but much under-rated community.

The Palms Trailer Park is located between two highways on Orange Blossom Trail – “OBT” as it is affectionately referred to. OBT is notorious for the business of buying and selling women. So whenever I tell people where my office is located – in a trailer park on OBT – I am generally met with some kind of a joke about “working the Trail.” And while my work involves befriending women who do, in fact, “work the Trail,” it also involves listening to the hopes and concerns of other people, too:

  • The former inmate who is unemployable because of his past.
  • The older woman who has never worked a day in her life because of her crippling disabilities.
  • The young, single mom who is passionate about her children having a chance to succeed with opportunities she never had.

Recently, I have become friends with a young, single mom who has taught me so much about determination and quiet patience. LaDeitra is curious and funny. She is hopeful yet cautious. She leads people with ease and yet is hesitant to be called a “leader.” She cares about her neighborhood and wants to be a part of creating a place where her kids can play safely, where she knows her neighbors well enough to understand their needs.

When I first met her at the Community Center, LaDeitra was shy and quiet. She would come to use the computers and then leave as quietly as she came in. But over time she began to pick up on some of the conversations around her. As people would visit the Community Center, we would talk about their ideas to improve the neighborhood. LaDeitra grew curious. Eventually she started contributing to these informal conversations. Finally, after several months of listening and observing she asked if she could come to the weekly meeting for our volunteer Hosts of the Community Center.

Once LaDeitra was trained as a Community Center Host, there was no stopping her. She began talking to her neighbors, listening to them dream about “what could be” at The Palms. She convenes people for Neighborhood Meetings, and it was her organization and determination that allowed the center to start opening on Saturdays.

The work of Asset Based Community Development can be very lonely. Am I the only one who thinks this neighborhood is great? Does everyone (including the residents here) think this place is a joke? These are admittedly my dismal thoughts on days when I feel heavy-laden with the reality of generational poverty.

But LaDeitra reminds me, “Things take time.” She reminds me that there are others who care about this forgotten part of Orlando. She confirms my deep suspicion that when the talents of the poor are properly engaged, their well-being improves. She engages my talents of leadership and organization and, in turn, allows me – even invites me – to engage her talents to influence her neighbors toward change.

Each Saturday, if you stop by The Palms Trailer Park, you will see LaDeitra with her notebook open, listening to the dreams of her neighbors. She writes them down, showing that what her neighbors have to say is important. She talks to others about these ideas and invites people to find ways to empower them.

LaDeitra is hesitant to be called a “leader,” and yet each week she leads me to believe that change – even in the most unlikely place – is possible.

Consider signing up for Dignity Serves, a six-week course that helps you rethink the way we serve others in our community. It teaches you to see problems differently and respond in a way that empowers those you serve rather than just meeting their immediate needs.

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Don’t short-circuit God – ask for help

February 17, 2012 by

By Dan Crain

ATLANTA – A few years ago, I was going through some very dark periods in my life. I knew I needed help but was not willing to ask for it. I was visiting my home in Pennsylvania for a party, and I ended up sitting next to a friend who is a trained counselor – the kind of person who, when she asked how I was doing, peered deeply into my soul.  Her eyes pierced any superficial mask I wore. I immediately grew extremely nervous and started to sweat.

Reality confronted me: I needed help, and I wasn’t seeking it. It did not feel good as I began to lose control.  Yet my initial fear and trembling gave way to redemption, as God spoke deeply to me, to my soul. My friend helped me to realize that I didn’t trust God enough to ask for help.

Face it: No one likes to ask for help.

We don’t like to confess our need for help because it reveals that we are weak, small, messy and vulnerable, and that we actually don’t have our act together. I mean, come on: Who wants to be known as “needy”?

News reports often tell of families in foreclosure, losing their homes and “being forced to move in” with relatives. Too often the media portray these stories of economic hardship as the worst event that could ever happen – a loss of independence.

The biggest problem with such thinking is that it is completely antithetical to the themes you find in Scripture regarding community. I absolutely love the book of Philippians, particularly the relationship the Apostle Paul models with the church in Philippi. There is a deep sense throughout the letter that Paul needs their help. He needs their prayers, their friendship, their financial gifts, and their encouragement.

Paul writes that the church in Philippi was the only one that entered into the matter of giving and receiving. He gave to them, and they gave back. But it wasn’t just a transactional relationship. They needed each other.

And as they asked for help from each other, who received the praise? God.

In the midst of this giving and receiving, God was helping Paul and the Philippians through each other. Paul’s comment at the end of the letter is brilliant: “And my God will meet all your needs according to the riches of his glory in Christ Jesus.”

God meets our needs as we ask for help from one another.  If I don’t ask, I short-circuit God’s help through community. The beautiful, shared relationship – God, others and self – breaks down.

And there’s a flip side to this: Why we are so good at giving and really bad at receiving?

Giving puts us in control. Receiving usually makes us feel weird, as if we actually need help. Bob Lupton writes, “Receiving, I am beginning to realize, is a humbling thing. It implies neediness. It categorizes one as being ‘worse off’ than the giver. Perhaps it is for this reason that we tend to reserve for ourselves the ‘more blessed’ position.”

I have experienced asking for help from the most vulnerable people who live on the streets. There is something so raw and authentic in having someone who lives on the streets take your hand and pray over you. It is life giving not only to me but also to the one now in the helping position.

Be aware of the ways in which God wants to help you through others. We all need it.

Consider signing up for Dignity Serves, a six-week course that helps you rethink the way we serve others in our community. It teaches you to see problems differently and respond in a way that empowers those you serve rather than just meeting their immediate needs. 

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